Natuurwerkdag & Free Meals

November 2: Tomorrow I will go to the very south, the deep south, of my country, in Limboland. There I will do some volunteer work in a very nice nature area, including some work to improve the livelihood of Alytes obstetricans (long live Google). If anyone wants to go too, drop me a line, private or public. If no one is interested, no worries. I will assume it's because of the bleak weather forecast for tomorrow. The rains will enter the country from the south :(

 

November 1: I am thinking of the free meal I scored yesterday in my local downtown. I was in a hurry, when a young lady moved really quickly on my left flank and I immediately stopped in my tracks, of course. If I would like to answer some questions? Oh, sure, why not, but I am not going to buy anything or donate to very far countries today.

Turns out I was allowed to partake in a food experiment involving organic food. Hmmm, I am in :) No allergies on my side and I would be able to reach my fridge within two hours. Answered some questions and took the free meal home and I have to cook it (that's the hard part here) and then on Tuesday I will be phoned for a questionnaire.

Who says the economy is bad? Free meals. I hope someone will give me 40 liters of car gas today. Maybe BP wants to make it up to me.

 

Now November and December of last year are up in the blogosphere :) Will post new stuff, but it's kinda neat to have older stuff here as well. After all, I think some of it is interesting and when FB shuts down, I'll lose those posts forever... 

A Rare Sighting of Yours Truly in a Pub

I was invited yesterday to go to a pub, so I did. It was on Saturday and I must say that I am now wondering how this society manages to keep functioning. There were some shady characters lurking around and especially outside. The pub itself was okay, but you could only communicate with each other by screaming or using body language. As I didn't know how to order beer using body language without looking obscene, I had to yell to the girls behind the counter. What a crazy world. Options ranged from simple lager (yikes) to something stronger and better quality. Mind you, just two options. Seemed like the Soviet Union. I opted for the last, so the better stuff. Just my luck the tap for the good stuff didn't work anymore all of a sudden. Beer went flying around and I seemed to have escaped most of the blast, but it was a mess behind the counter. The one operating the tap was soaked from the waist down and it was still early that night. Okay, on to the simple lager, bluh. Pulled my wallet and made it known I wanted to pay. More complications. No, I hadn't accidentally pulled my Swiss Army knife. I could only pay using red plastic coins I had to buy from ... another girl down the bar. Sheesh, what bureaucrazy. I was allowed to take the beer, I must have looked so reliable. I am, of course. I immediately made my way to the girl through a dense crowd, but the establishment had selected a coin seller of epic proportions (hourglass with boobs the size of pumpkins, FYV), so it was hard to overlook her. Mission accomplished. I could now stand around unnoticed like the majority there.

However, drink washed down, I got bored. This was not my sort of entertainment. Music was horrendously loud, luckily got more bearable later and better. By then, I felt I had showed enough of my nose and bailed out.

Not sure why people look forward to this all week. I must be missing something.

-- November 4, 2012

Alert: More US Politics

At the risk of annoying you, I am now posting a political status update about the US election, which will be held tomorrow. I predict Obama will remain president. I know he's unpopular, but the Republican challenger is even more unpopular, IMO. I also cannot realistically think a guy wearing magic underwear (Google a bit on the subject of Mormons) can hope to achieve the US presidency, no matter how much cheating goes on. During his rallies, he couldn't even manage to find enough people to cheer him on.

What makes this prediction still a little shaky on my part is that Obama is very unpopular and I always underestimate the complete dumbness of the American populace at large. So I may be completely wrong here. Romney has shifted his political positions so many times, even on the same day, no one knows what he's in favor of or opposing, though a sane mind can see that one thing is for sure: the guy is a bigoted and socially estranged douchebag and makes his way up the foodchain by lying.

Anyway, I am now already yawning at the prospect of learning the results tomorrow. I am more concerned about my own country's ridiculous government. If they would make a reality show out of that bunch and made sure no one would die of laughter or of strangling taxes, it would have some value.

Okay, time to do something constructive now. Have a nice evening.

-- November 5, 2012

US Election Results 2012

Congrats to Obama on his being re-elected as president of -- wait, he doesn't need an introduction. While he doesn't share my political beliefs and vice versa, he is a lot better than Romney, of that I am sure. I do hope the States can, in relative calm, work out their problems. I see that both Colorado and Washington even managed to legalize recreational weed! Maybe there, on the state level, problems will be hard to spot in a while... Far out, dude.

Mandatory GMO labeling of food failed in California and, while I am personally opposed to GMOs, mandating food producers to label their products is not the way to go. Why don't more producers, out of free will, label their products? Enlightened buyers can then make their own decision of what to buy and, equally important, what not to buy. After all, the real voting is going on with our dollars and euros and yen and yang and whatnot :)

-- November 7, 2012

Spicy and Stuff

November 12: I finally get to use my organic herbs & spices for chicken. Had to first save enough to buy organic chicken. Only wild boar is more expensive, it seems to me. If these prices keep rising, I am going to throw rocks at pheasants in the forest to stay alive.

Anyway, now that I am on the subject of herbs and spices, I also bought bottled-up garlic. I must use that with care or maybe start liking it and lose all my friends.

November 11: I need a restraining order. For the cat. He is going berserk in my house. The 'Persian' tapestry especially needs protection. Fortunately, I don't have any Ming vases.

November 10: Going to visit Glow tonight. Darkness has fallen over the city, so now is the time :)

November 9: Switching between Internet providers is hazardous. Got a text message today about my new password and stuff like that and later opened my mail, but all the thousands of mails were gone, all the way back to 2005. Fortunately, my dad seems to know everything there is to know about computers, so magically (the way I look at it) the mail was dug up from some hidden corner of the WWW. Phew. Of course, I was reminded that if the harddisk crashes, the mail will be gone permanently, so it's also time for a backup again.

I am also wondering if Facebook will ever crash. If that happens, the world will come to a standstill, right? People in shock everywhere. No one will know what to do anymore.

 

A Joke

Okay, a last post for today. It's a joke, so enjoy:

A senior citizen drove his brand-new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he pushed the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding – a reason I've never before heard – I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," the trooper replied.

:)

-- November 13, 2012

An Open Book on FBook

I have the feeling that a lot that could go wrong today did go wrong. Seven more hours to go for the next day, which hopefully will be a lot better. I even forgot my memory stick. Left it stuck in a computer in school.

The good news is that I have arranged a thesis and one I can be happy about, but due to the bad news I have to consider not going to work on it and go look for a fulltime job and quit the studies. What happened is that I have to cancel my traineeship. Seemed like a very cool subject matter, but the university thinks it's way too complex. I'm thinking along the same lines, but thought a traineeship is there to learn. The university actually recommends first doing a thesis and then, when a student has proven him- or herself, a traineeship. So far in my life, I have always aced traineeships, but this time I have doubts. I have 0 experience doing population-dynamics research.

Anyway, this means further delay and delay is costly. I'm not into organized crime, so money is a scarce resource for me.

Too bad I betted everything on one horse. Apparently not a smart thing to do.

-- November 19, 2012

Jumbo

I am starting to like the big supermarket in front of my house. I've lived here for a few years now and didn't start visiting the supermarket until fairly recently and now all of a sudden, over the course of a few months, they start selling quite a bit of organic food. This must be to lure me into their arms. Well, it's working. I even bought something not organic: nuts from all over the world, even walnuts from the US. If I stop posting on FB, blame the nuts.

When my money runs out, there's still no problem, as I know a secret way into the supermarket. Yes, it was a very smart move to go live opposite a supermarket. From behind my bedroom window, I can watch all the goings-on and can keep track of when a major (beer) shipment is being loaded in :D

-- November 20, 2012 :)

(Almost ancient history.)

Heroism in the Kitchen

Note to self: "If you can't cook, make sure to follow the cooking instructions."

Yesterday, I ate rice with pasta sauce. It turned out to be a terrible combination and it didn't help I cooked the rice for 8 minutes, which I assumed is reasonable for rice, BUT one day later I found out this rice needs cooking for 25 minutes. That does explain why it was like eating little bullets. For some reason, too, the sauce was very watery.

Is there such a book written especially for single men who can't cook? Maybe I could watch cooking programs all evening long, but I terminated my tv subscription a while ago, so I am not the stereotypical single guy who eats pizza and drinks beer on the coach in front of the tellie.

No worries, though: I'll cook eggs tonight and that has never gone wrong. Add slivers of leek and onion, nicely baked. No rice. I think I'll try potatoes. What can go wrong?

-- November 26, 2012

More Road Rage

Compliments to self: I remained totally calm on the road today, even when dangerously cut off by a C*NT of a big Mercedes (I only raised my longest finger to the toad) and then I had to suffer an obnoxious Golf, which was abused by some idiot youth. Both cars were black, naturally. After that, a suicidal woman on a bike thought it nice to try her luck in front of me. Lucky for her I can brake hard. Oh, and I had to evade someone who was phoning and trying to drive with one hand. Difficult enough to drive for that trash when they use both hands. I shouldn't forget the big BMW (black) that went straight through the red when I was given green light. Oh well, welcome in Eindhoven. I've heard it's worse in other cities, like Paris and Rome and Shanghai. I remember I was considering to bike to get my groceries, but I'm glad I didn't. I prefer the relative safety of a car. Consider, too, that each time I go to my 'vegetable' garden, I drive through a street someone was gunned down in a couple weeks ago. This is a few blocks away from where I live. Interesting, eh? I mean, what's going on in all those houses? Wives are beaten, kids are being sent to bed hungry, cats are put in washing-machines, and men watch sports on TV and then smash the furniture when their team loses, right? Oh well, keep :) :) :)

-- November 26, 2012

Romance

The ultimate example of poetry from my life happened last Saturday. It goes to show the universe is one big something in which everything happens for a reason and sometimes these reasons are brilliantly poetic. This doesn't mean that there's an almighty being hovering over us. Far from it. It just means we're all connected and that we are the almighty being. Everthing in life and death and in between is energy and if you know the rules of energy, you know how the universe works. I hope you can follow me...

Anyway, on to the poetic part. Here I was walking hand in hand with a fair lady whose name I won't mention -- this was on Saturday and all around us were rolling hills with heathland scrub and patches of forest -- and life was less lonely for a while, but all things in life come to an end, good and bad, especially in this season of decay. Even though I was wearing her glove on my right hand*, such romance rarely lasts long. So, on her way back in the bus, she lost the glove I had worn and that will forever mark the end of our short but happy time together, as we're not meant for each other.

This is what happens when two people meet who're looking for true love/perfection. Maybe we have seen too many romantic films. Does true love exist? Who knows. It very well could. Maybe my next date will be with a lady who's so poor, she only wears one glove, a glove she found. This is the stuff of good novels. Besides, poverty turns me on.

Not sure if this can actually be called poetic justice. That would be about sin being punished and virtue rewarded. If the losing of the glove is virtue, it's poetic justice. Maybe I'll keep you updated about this sort of stuff. However, I find Facebook not entirely a suitable place to write about my dating stuff. That's way too personal. Sometimes I hint at it, but that is as far as I'm willing to go, unless I find myself being betrothed. Me being poor and turned on by poor women, marriage won't be here anytime soon for me. Only the well-to-do marry, right?

* This says more about my hand than it says about the glove :)

-- November 27, 2012

Persistency at the Front Door

Trrrrrrrring: two people were at my door. I open the door and push out my nose: "Hello?"

My brain is thinking, "Jehovah Witnesses, darn!" My mouth is usually not too far behind: "I know who you are. Jehovah Witnesses, right?" I prepare to slam the door and go back to more important stuff.

The lady, who was very black, smiled. The guy, very white, also smiled and then cried out: "Yes, we are here to convert you!"

"Hey, a JW with a sense of humor," I thought, and pricked up my ears and pushed out my nose one inch farther outside.

"Just kidding!" the guy said. "We're from Eneco." That is an energy supplier and I prepared to retreat, having heard horror stories of very aggressive salespersons sent by that business. My huge Swiss pocketknife felt very comforting in my ... pocket.

Took me five minutes to get fully back to the safety of my home, door closed, because they were very persistent. Of late, I am rather in a steadfast mood, so I won.

-- This happened on November 28 in the year of 2012 :)

Saucy Groceries

Today I narrowly escaped a clever plot whose purpose was to destroy my groceries, most notably a glass bottle of fruit juice I loosely held between my arm and body. It went like this: I was walking from the organic supermarket to my car, when all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye I noticed a lot of white and pink. It was a completely naked lady parading in front of a window and she was wearing nothing at all and she was somewhere in her twenties or thirties and ... well-endowed. I immediately held onto my juice and ssssssssslowwwwwwwwly continued on my way to my car. Completely unexpected to see this in such a nice neighborhood. Perhaps the worsening economic times push some households to the limits of decency.

Anyway, I thought this was worth a mention in the form of a status update. A distant second place goes to a nice bargain I scored: 2 herrings with onions for a mere 1 euro! And the worst that happened? Well, that was that out of four clothes' shops I visit to buy clothes, three of them have gone bust this year. Today marked #3. Unfortunately, I wasn't even able to share in the spoils, because the final sale was over and it was all closed-up and dusty :( One clothes' shop left. If that one goes belly up, I will also soon be walking around naked, when my clothes wear to shreds and tatters.

Reminds me of "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

-- November 29 of 2012 (I couldn't resist; is this a classic or what?)

November Hippies

Getting close to midnight and I am glad I am back home. I spent the evening with hippies of all sorts and colors, which was sort of fun, and the most interesting discussions were about organic food and where to buy it. On the way to that place and on the way back I was reminded -- as if I needed reminding -- that a lot of the people in this society have perfected anti-social behavior to some form of art, so I once again took care to minimize my encounters of such nature. Didn't entirely work, as one of those SUV drivers (they are often the worst) hit my car (trust me, not the other way around, because I stood neatly parked), but fortunately in a spot that can handle some mistreatment: a mirror. Otherwise, it was a mixture of drunks and the usual assortment of dimwits.

Anyway, discussing oil and food dependency on other countries and that sort of stuff does remind me of more interesting times ahead. I just hope that 99% of shoppers go fight each other for the last bottles of diet soda and pizzas, so I can sneak away unnoticed, when all hell breaks loose.

Am I being too dramatic? Nooooo, I just run ahead of the herd. If we have to import most of our food and energy and do so in ways to impoverish people in far countries, I think we're in an unsustainable situation. But hey, this is much too bleak material for a Friday night. Let's go for a drink. Takes me ten steps from the couch to the fridge, and I run on organic fuel, so this is one way to keep my eco footprint small. Keep those supply lines as short as possible. I should perhaps install a fridge next to my bed, too :)

Peace.

-- November 30 of 2012

(Time for some new stuff, right? Back to the present...)

The Mighty AH Wasted My Time

Arrrrrrrr, I just wasted nearly half an hour shopping online. I rarely do that, because I prefer to visit a shop and talk to real people, but I got this free €10 in shopping money from Albert Heijn, the supermarket giant. They tell me to please please please visit them online and place an order for home delivery and I get the €10. I am Dutch and poor, so free money makes me really excited. I went online and got even more excited: they have quite a bit of organic stuff, so I am browsing through the catalog and my eyes light up and my tummy starts to make odd noises. I place my order, which is just above €10 and Proceed to Payment, which is when the trouble started.

First, the delivery costs. On average €5. Hmmmm, this is not getting worth my time, but I persist and keep clicking. Next, the peanut butter is out of stock; and another message pops up: Sorry, only shopping lists worth €70 or more are allowed for home delivery. Well, fuck fuck fuck, forget it.

Next time, make sure to put that info on the flyer. It says nothing of the sort and nowhere does it mention this stuff, except when you start looking for it.

But, anyway, it's snowing. Still happy.

-- December 3rd of 2012 

(This rare and highly sought-after article first appeared on Facebook.)

Salty Stuff and Facebook Horrors

December 17 of 2012: Today I added Celtic Sea Salt to my arsenal of kitchen magic. Wow. My Himalayan salt is great, but this stuff really is amazing. Got the coarse version, which has more stuff in it. Highly recommended.

 

December 17 of 2012: Christmas is coming near and so my nearly non-existent skills in the kitchen are in quick need of updating, because I do have plans for a tremendous meal. I was thinking of poached pears in port, red cabbage, and now for something entirely original: beef that is of even higher quality than organic*. Add wine from the finest organic vineyards imaginable and a bucket of ice cream and I think I can safely and happily say my body will finally break new weight records going into the new year. I'm hoping 77 kilograms.

*Pure Graze. Have to travel more than 80 km to get it, though, but it's Christmas only once each year (praise the Lord!) and maybe I can find me a piece of wild boar, too. Of course, I also am tempted to not eat meat on Christmas.

 

December 4 of 2012: Interesting development on Facebook: Someone actually private messaged me to inform me of an unfriend action. No personal hate or something, I was told by her. Hmmmm, I guess this sort of thing happens millions of times a day on any given day on the Facebook world, but it does sort of fascinate me why exactly people do this. I do make quite a narrow selection of which people I extend Facebook friendship to, so gains are slow and reductions (hahah) do worry me sometimes. I automatically start thinking I might have been annoying by posting yet another rant or a picture that is boring or offensive. Or my mug is irritating? Or I mistreated you? The latter is hard to believe, as I'd rather cut off my own fingers than deliberately hurt someone.

Anyway, to be honest I don't mind much, because I prefer to have friends who can at least tolerate my weird habits and never question my intentions, which are always well-meant, but due to my not so fluent social skills I am rather awkward sometimes, so that explains my not very skillful habits when it comes down to this thing called socializing.

Perhaps I should visit friends more often or start chatting more frequently. A while ago it dawned on me that if I don't do that often enough, some may start thinking I dislike them. Well, if I really dislike someone, you'll notice :) and you certainly won't find me as one of your Facebook friends.

I could also, instead of taking risks by posting some of my thoughts online, focus on posting pictures of kittens and puppies and stuff like that, which seems like a safe bet to keep friends these days :)

Here's an idea: I bought chicken, but it can only be heated up in an oven, which I don't have. How dumb of me to buy the chicken. I should read the label better. If someone has an oven I can use briefly, I could warm up my chicken, you can have half and then I'd be very happy.

 

 

New Arrivals :)

Hmmm, I must say my guinea pigs make it VERY clear when they want a snack. They're pigs, all right, but look like small capibaras. I'm laptopping and suddenly there is a whole chorus of squeaks and total mayhem breaks out when I talk back. Pieces of apple keep them quiet for a while, cucumber also makes them happy.

However, to my great disappointment, I cannot spoil them with organic guinea-pig food. Doesn't seem to exist.

Pictures may be forthcoming, but the awesome cuteness of them may overwhelm you, so it's for your own good I keep their identities secret...

December 18, 2012 

PS: From FB :)

New Year's Resolution?

At long last! I just grabbed my cell phone, typed in 10 digits that I will keep secret, talked to a nice-sounding lady for a long time and in the end signed up for yoga classes starting early next year. Will bring my eco yoga mat and easy-fitting clothes. Lots of giggling on the other side of the phone when I said that about my clothes.

But, anyway, this is going to be fun.

Breathe in, breathe out... I can do that. Stretch leg, breathe in, stretch other le---rrrrrrrrrrip, shit. Please remember me to wear underwear.

December 19 of 2012 (from FB, of course)

The End of the World

Why on Earth is my municipality testing out their fireworks display at such a late hour?! I was snoring and lying nicely curled up, when suddenly I wake up in my bedroom flooded with bright lights and outside it looks like a meteor storm is wheeling through the night sky overhead. China has delivered more impressive goods this year, I must admit. Previous years it was less ... showy. If I press my nose to the window, it starts to feel hot. I will immediately start writing a complaint. This is ridiculous! This will NEVER happen again, for as long as I live.

 

-- December 21 of 2012 on Facebook :)

A Very Wet Winter

If there's one thing that is running through the last weeks like a blue thread, it's rain rain rain rain rain. All it does here is rain. It's definitely not going to be a white Christmas, nor a green, but a blue one. If this is going on for a week more, I'm going to start building a ship. Consider yourself invited if you bring some boards or any sort of wood of decent size and quality or maybe some logs we can tie together.

Even my umbrella nearly drowned.

-- December 22, 2012

(Does this feel like traveling back in time? Most blogs go forward in time, but this one is ... different. I am different, which explains a lot of this blog's weirdness)

Dratted Taxes! :(

The Internal Revenue Service is like the police bureau: You can't get a hold of them when you need them, BUT they both sure do know how to find you when they need you. It would give me great pleasure to tell the money grubbers just before Christmas that their calculations are wrong. They sent me a bill for roughly 200 euros (cough cough), but what I will make them do is send me lots of money. Now, admittedly, it's not their mistake, per se. I should really have clearly mentioned I am studying, which costs me a lot of dough in terms of tuition costs and books. Adding this all up, makes a pretty sum and it's tax deductible. Every receipt I can find of whatever study book I had to buy will be dug up by yours truly. Too bad the coffee and gas isn't deductible. I would be in the Bahamas by now if they were.

 

It gets old, but yes, this post also first appeared on FB :)

 

-- December 24 of 2012

Christmas 2012

1. I wish everyone the best Christmas ever. I am also going to wish you well in 2013, but I'll do that in another, forthcoming, status update. Right now, for the next couple of days, have merry fun with family or friends or yourself or anyone. Don't forget strangers and animals of all sorts. Remember the true Christmas spirit: be nice to everyone :)

 

2. Alas, no vegetarian Christmas. I got invited by family and meat was everywhere. I did, however, focus most of my attention on the mushrooms, salad, roasted sweet chestnuts (mjum), and organic beer. As Christmas lasts two days here, I'll make tomorrow a vegetarian Christmas day :)

 

Correct, I stole this from my Facebook page...

 

-- December 24 and 25 of 2012 :)

 

Rude Behavior on the Roads :(

Indeeeeeed, from Facebook :) Not too long ago: December 27, 2012

Good deed of the day, I mean in my day:

I noticed a little girl not daring to cross the street on her bike even when she had the right of way. I was in my car rolling my eyes at how callous other drivers were behaving. The other cars were of course not stopping, not even slowing down. I signalled it was my turn now, so I planted my car in the way of others who wanted to keep moving (many drivers only care about moving to their point of destination and find everything that stands or moves in between highly annoying) and made it clear she could cross now. Amazing look of unbelief and thank you on the girl's face and then she went. See, that wasn't so hard. I bet if she had been ten years older and having nicely rounded curves, the world of car drivers would be falling over each other to be the first to stop.

Fireworks: Be Careful!

Indeed, a last year's post from Facebook :) Why be original, when I can steal from myself...

Yesterday, on the news, there was the predicted cautionary tale of a youth who played with fireworks and had to pay the price in blood. They showed the romantic alley and the victim made a wide gesture with his good hand (the one he masturbates with) to point out how high the blood was splattered on the wall last year. It was very dramatic. I love drama. The youth, who was impeccably dressed, then told of a loud beep in his ears and of his stumbling into the street and onto a bridge, where he sat down and didn't dare look at what remained of his left hand. He hinted at a dark spot on the ground below, where the blood pooled (and I imagined hungry piranhas in the river under the bridge), and then it gradually got all dark. In the hospital, after numerous operations, the doctors had made quite a work of art. The youth, instead of saying "Thank you", remembered he didn't say anything when he gazed at the result. Hmmmm. More drama.

Most drama lies in the stuff only hinted at, which is why I like Hemingway, who knew how to write well. However, the news then warned viewers to turn away now and lock the kids in the bathroom during the next shot. I got closer to the television...rubbing my hands.

OH MY!!!!

I had to post this story and my view on the matter, because annoying youths are bombarding my sensitive ears with fireworks and my guinea pigs, who're jumpy by default, only look at me with big eyes now, as if it's all my fault.

The news item also made me remember my youthful days playing with fireworks. The early January days were always spent collecting unexploded fireworks, except on rainy days, and then it was time to safely detonate them. How I hated the short fuses! You see, I was on the bomb squad. I have saved many a kid's fingers and eyes and whole hands even by getting rid of the dangerous stuff.

Anyway, stay safe and clean up your mess. Also, before you light that dumb rocket into the air or want to explode that Chinese bomb, remember what you can all do with that hand of yours... Personally, my fingers are one of my biggest assets. Not sure about you. Never will I put them on the line for something as idiotic as fireworks again. I am not on the bomb squad anymore.

Warning: I will strangle the first one to throw a piece of fireworks at me. Hate that.

Peace. I think this firework stuff gets on me nerves somehow.

-- December 31st 2012

Radio 10 Gold's Top 10 for 2012!

There is only one radio station I listen to with regularity and hilarity, and it's Radio 10 Gold (AM).

This is their Top 10 for the year 2012:

(From Facebook...)

Radio 10 Gold's Top 10!

1. Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen)
2. Hotel California (Eagles)
3. Child in Time (Deep Purple)
4. Paradise by the Dashboardlight (Meatloaf)
5. Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)
6. Dancing Queen (ABBA)
7. Radar Love (Golden Earring)
8. Someone Like You (Adele)
9. Old and Wise (Alan Parsons Project)
10. Hey Jude (Beatles)

Let It Be (The Beatles) is on now (#58)...

-- December 31st 2012

Nicely on Time :)

(Status update from ... Facebook again, but I really feel like producing some posts here, to fill up all that empty space.)

I'm about 10 minutes early here, but I feel like wishing everybody a great new year already, so as to get it over with. I don't know why it's such a big deal to people, but anyways, hurrah! 2012 is nearly gone. I wish people would get as excited at ending or, better, preventing wars and sickness and injustices of any kind. In this country, you get a fine if you throw away an apple in the roadside, but around this time you are cheered on if you foul up the air and scare the dogs and cats witless. Oh well.

-- December 31st 2012, of course :)

Everything Ends One Day...

(This post is from January 2nd 2013 and I had initially posted it on Facebook, but I feel like filling up some empty spaces here.)

Listening to the radio in moderation, one gets a glimpse of what most people seem to be interested in nowadays. Let me join the mindless chatter on this rare occasion. What happened was that today's hot news is Van der Vaart's (the soccer player and not a bad one at that) beating his wife to the ground during a New Year's Eve party or around that time. The bruise must still be fresh, methinks. I doth wonder if Raffie timed it like that. Maybe with all the fireworks exploding, the WHAM!!! in her face (I guess it was not a bitchslap) would perhaps go unnoticed, his wife thinking it was a Chinese piece of garbage that misfired and instead of exploding into the sky, hit her full-frontal. According to the management of the couple (?!), the two had been growing apart for a while (I can see that, if you have a management managing you two), but to the outside world of glamour and blitz, they were the epitome of a great marriage. Bwahahah. Right. Save me the tears. Marriage is a commodity today to most, a symbol of status, a display of personal pride. Perhaps half of marriages, if I remember correctly, go wrong and end in divorce, and trust me when I say that the remaining marriages ain't perfect, either, for the most part. Boy meets girl or vice versa, he goes wild every time he sees her naked, she goes wild, too, at the prospect of a baby and a nice cozy house and smotherly love and a nice income is shared by both. Then comes the problems. You can see I am no fan of marriage. It's for suckers.

Basically, we have a guy who kicks balls for a living and that is an honest job, I admit. If they'd pay me to kick balls, I know a few I'd like to kick hard. Right between the poles. My accuracy is deadly. Anyways, his mate was a vacuous troll of a woman interested in superfluous nothingness, but that is my opinion and it is of no relevance, I guess. I don't understand why people see anything else in her, but never mind. People don't know who Niels Bohr was, but they do know what Sylvie van der vaart was wearing last week. The two married in 2005, produced one kid after a year (good shot, Raffie) and now it's over, how sad... None saw it coming.

Please, it's now time to place bets. Who says both will get married to someone else within one year and who says two? And do you think Raffie's fanmail will increase with 40% or with 50%? Any bets? And what chemical cocktail will Silvie use on her battered cheek? Foundation? 'Cause she's worth it? I'm mixing up brands here, I know.

Who thinks men should never hit women? Who thinks women deserve a good spanking now and again? Who thinks men deserve a solid beating regularly? What do you think triggered the assault? Did he get drunk or did she get drunk, or both? The questions are endless. Their sex life must've been awful, right? Now I understand why people don't have time these days for an intelligent discussion about life and the universe. I lost ... 15 minutes typing this, but it was fun. I will probably not think of those two for months to come, perhaps years.

In all honesty, in respect to their feelings, their marriage might have been great. I know nothing about it and it is not my interest. I just like to flex my muscles writing. The beating may be one of total frustration about everything going wrong. Love hurts when it goes bad. To dwell any longer on this would be crazy. Both have a TON of money and their own talents at making a TON more and if they play it well, they get more money due to all this publicity. If Raffie scores lotsa goals for the Dutch soccer team, he'll be a hero. In fact, I believe a neo-nazi would be able to become the Dutch captain of the team if only he makes 'us' world champion, the madness of soccer is really fucked-up here. It is important for the kid to grow up safely. In school, the other kids will yell his daddy is a wife beater. However, then mommie comes round in her big Range Rover, plowing smaller cars to the edges. The kid will be fine. Money makes life never very hard.

And now back to posting pics of kittens and puppies :) I am dreadfully sorry at having kept you so long, but probably no one reads this anyway. That is okay, too.

Facebook Wants to Know ... Everything All the Time

'How's it going, Jeroen?' Well, dear Facebook want-to-know-it-alls, you asked for it. Today, I can't stop chuckling. You see, I bought these fair-trade condoms and everything about them is funny.

First of all, they're made in Germany, jawohl! I'm immediately thinking of ze poor Germans working slave wages in sweatshops near Münich. Luckily for them, my purchasing power has raised a helping ... hand to lift them out poverty. I'm surprised these condoms don't even cost more than the regular ones I used to buy. The Germans may be pleased to note this fair-trade, natural latex is better and so I will buy more. After all, I eat and drink organic and love organic love-making as well.

Second, just look at the booklet that has come with the condoms. The text is funny and the pics, too. Most of it is in German and that is funny to begin with, as I always instinctively pronounce German how it should NOT be pronounced. The advertisements are hilarious: "Lümmeltüten Zweisam ... Der VW unter den Kondomen -- Geruchsneutrale feuchte" hahah I cannot continue, I am laughing too hard.

What in God's name is Scharfmacher? or die Potenzsteigerung?

Vaginalkugeln?! LOL, you should see the picture! There's a woman winking and ... hahahah, OMG, these people are having fun.

TÜV geprüft? I have now moved on to what looks like a cigar-shaped spaceship from Venus. Viele weitere Modelle auf...

Awesome. You asked for it, Facebook.

-- January 3rd 2013